brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
