He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
