ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
