If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is the high leading the old right now
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
