so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
PANTIES FOUND
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
