i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
