I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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