we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Two words: blizzard sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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