I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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