Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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