So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
