ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
