remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
