He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tell her she can't have a vagina
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
