he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
