sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
