woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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