Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
