do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
