Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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