Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
