shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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