your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
