Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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