Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
