i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
