Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
