i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
