We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
