im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you will always have a special place in my vag
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
