I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
