I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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