You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
