I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
