I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
