I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
