We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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