please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
