I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
