he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
