fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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