another moral hangover. fuck.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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