Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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