How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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