at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
