i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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