I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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