She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
