can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
