He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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