Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
