i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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