You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
